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12:36 PM Beautiful Crazy Luke Combs possible I only took this snapshot to text to Brendan

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There isn’t much to this post, hence why I likely held off on publishing it. It’s funny how it means so much more now, thinking about how wonderful it was when I could actually text him. It prompted me to look back through our messages to find that 3/1/20 text. My phone only goes back to 2021, but what a joy to scroll through and see all the silly selfies Brendan sent. One of which is attached here. Even after writing this, I looked at that picture, and my instinct was to send it back to him and say, “Hey, do you realize that this was a great picture of you?” It’s interesting how your mind can know something, but your heart tells you otherwise. Cognitively, I understand that he is gone, but my heart keeps him alive—a great irony.

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Three Year Old- Eric Church
this is my song. when i first heard this album, three-year-old was the only song I remotely liked. After hearing the album a few more times, I have grown to like it quite a bit and become more attached to this song. I listened this morning when I was the only one awake in the house at 2:30 AM. it was so relaxing, standing there with my eyes closed and simply enjoying the music and how tired I was. and how happy to be at peace with grandma’s ashes and finally finding a memory piece (the bangle bracelet).

When I think about this song now, I have this sharp image of hook-rugging that eagle in my room with Gwen in the room next door. I remember gushing to Gwen about how much I liked this album. I also remember the impetus for my renewed interest in the album, even though I had said I only liked that one song: A flitting crush on a boy. And then I remember that dinner at Wildfire and talking about rodeo and how that was the first time I ever wore those Levis and that daisy top I bought at South Point. And now I remember, that was my last rodeo that I spoke of. I wished I’d written down what that last one felt like. What I was thinking. I know how I feel now; bittersweet. I loved it; it was beyond fun, but it was the last one.

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Songs are complicated. They represent so much, they mean so much, and they help us remember so much.

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Upon Reviewing this now, I laugh at these reminiscences. I question why I kept updating it and never posting it. Is it for the sake of the embarrassment I feel now? I can’t help but notice that this “on this day 5 years ago” post is getting published nearly “on this day a decade ago”. Funny how I don’t think I would have remembered much of this had I not written any of it down. I might have remembered being in my room and listening to this, but I do not think I would have remembered much else. I am happy to be reminded about finishing that hook rug. Great thing for journalling! It was interesting, too, to see these flashbacks and remember how much I liked Erich Church. My current assessment is that he’s fine, but no Stapleton!

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Wake Up Everybody- Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes

Throughout my surgery rotation and afterward, I had meant to send this to Dr. McNamara but never got around to it. I had thought of this video because each day I show up at the Bergan ASC, I feel like a Blue Note in the powder blue scrubs they make us wear.

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I read so few emails, but when James Clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter hits my inbox, I make the time to read what he has to say. This snippet continues to hit home, especially as I prepare for Step 2.

The way to live a full life is to act quickly. 

Particularly as you grow older, it’s alarmingly easy to let a year or two (or five) slip by without doing the big things you always felt like doing. You get into a rhythm—not necessarily one you love, but one you become comfortable repeating—and the grooves of your daily routine become deeper and more established. 

Speed is perpetually undervalued. That doesn’t mean you should feel frantic or rushed. In fact, it’s likely you should eliminate some of the things that make you feel so busy to make space for things you always wanted to do. But it definitely means you should stop letting the days drift by waiting for the moment to be right. 

Stop acting like there is infinite time. This—the way you are living right now—is your one life.”

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Bluebird- Miranda Lambert

After an eventful night (the sensor on my door fell and tripped the alarm at 4 AM) and then waking up at 7:36 AM, I realized I had class (interviewing- sexual history intake) and scrambled to get myself together. Jonathan had a lousy morning (bad night of sleep compounded on top of several bad nights of sleep), then on my way to class with 3 minutes to get there, I realized I didn’t have my white coat. I was not sorry for myself, but I was not exactly chipper. So I put on this song and instantly felt better because I, too, always “have a wildcard up my sleeve.”

As I passed the museum, I saw a young man chasing the bus, and it validated the song and the seedling of what I was thinking that I am so fortunate to be here in medical school, driving my own car, cozy on my way to school even if I’m a bit late and disorganized!

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This morning I opened the Google Photos, Memory Spotlight of the Day. It featured pictures and video from 09/22/20. Amongst the pictures of my mom and I in a flying squirrel costume, there was a short video of Tugger. He was on my butterfly blanket, falling asleep to the sound of Mipso’s People Change.

I forgot how calming Tugger and I found the song. What a perfect choice for the second day of fall!

People Change- Mipso

Josephine- Cover of the Brandi Carlile song by Anderson East

This song has popped up on my music feed every now and again, but for whatever reason I have always skipped it. Today, I asked Siri to play Anderson East, and after the zebra song, skipped, this was the first to come on. I nearly skipped it too, but for Charlie mentioning a few months ago that he loves Carlile. I am happy that I finely gave it a listen, because East does an excellent job. In my opinion, better than the original! I have had it on repeat and stuck in my head for the last few days now.

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In my CBL group we were talking about Animal Farm and one of the women mentioned that she found it “weird” like that short story from high school where the guy recruits people to his jungle so that he can hunt them. I didn’t mention that I liked both that story and Animal Farm. I did however start googling, and I found this, an Orson Welles reading of it!

It had been a good while since hearing this. Nearly a decade later, I still love the song.

Lila Woken- Marteria and Miss Platnum

Kevin

Macklemore

Today, they played this in the ethics session regarding the opioid crisis. As soon as I Dr. Townley’s intentions to play it, I knew she’d made an apt choice. I can remember hearing this at the Grammy’s and being incredibly moved by Macklemore’s message. Powerful song. Nice to be reminded of it’s presence.

Looking for a featured picture, I stumbled across this website. Fascinating! They give the artist interpretation, theirs, and links to related media (my favorite here, because I have seen other sites that collect artist interpretations). I continued to browse around the site and realized how neat it is. They list out songs and then label them by the general cause they advocate for. I look forward to seeing their site grow.

Macklemore’s Intention:

“This one is personal… I started writing it when my friend Kevin passed from an overdose on prescription medication. It was my attempt to process his death. To grieve. And also to examine the over abundance of prescription drugs in America. How quick we’re taught at an early age to put a pharmaceutical band aid over our pain/anxiety.”

The lyrics:

As with any issue it is more gray than black and white, but Macklemore makes a strong point is his lyrical stanza, “Look at Kevin, look at Kevin, Now he’s wrapped in plastic, First dealer was his Mom’s medicine cabinet, Got anxiety, better go and give him a Xanax, Focus, give him Adderall, sleep, give him Ambien ‘Til he’s walking ’round the city looking like a mannequin, Ups and downs, shooting up prescriptions you’re handing him, So America, is it really worth it? I’m asking you.”

Seven Wonders- Fleetwood Mac

I thought it was such a pretty song when it randomly came on in my car.

I love this interpretation from a 2010 comment on the songmeanings page.

“I think it’s about realizing that you’ll never find that same beauty that someone is, ever again, because there is only one of them, and that’s why they’re so precious.”

Fire on the Mountain- Marshall Tucker Band

When I arrived back at my apartment, following my drive home from class, I looked up what song had been playing on the radio. Seeing the name of the song made me smile. Ironically, this is the song Madison Bumgarner used to walk out to when he came to bat. I assume it fires him up. Does it?
For myself? It did the opposite. I mellowed. Before hearing the song, I was frustrated with Jonathan’s career choice and projected into the future. Looking back on it, it is likely because I frequently live for the future and for our joint ability to be together. I realized then (because I’d mellowed) that worrying about the “what will be” is dumb when you have such a wonderful now.
Reading the lyrics now, I realize that it mellowed me for a good reason; it’s a sad song!

I Bet You Think About Me (Taylor’s Version)

I have no idea why I selected this as a a song of the moment… but ha the passing craze didn’t last long enough to be a SOW :)… not that I make the differentiation, but this song called for it!

… but wait! As I was posting this…. STAPLETON’S ON THE TRACK?!… HA guess it requires a re-listen!

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Unexpectedly, this came on one of my stations the other day. I kept it on because at this point I wanted to see how I missed hearing Chris sing on the take. 21 seconds in, I realized why this was snapped as a SOW… that harmonica!

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Nobody’s Lonely Tonight

From a snapshot!…No idea what was behind this!

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Friendship- Chris Stapleton

My dad brought this interview to my attention. Watching it was my reward for studying over the weekend (and longer than I should have). I thoroughly enjoyed this segment and wished there was more of it. It made me nostalgic for listening to Stapleton’s music. I put Siri on the case and, for at least a week after watching this, I listened to a nice mix of Stapleton’s music. In the ensuing week, I heard Friendship and fell in love with the song. It was my earworm for several days, and at some point, I was singing it (read singing along with the recording) to Jonathan over the Portal.

‘Cause, we got friendship
The kind that last a lifetime
Through all the hardship
You know, you’re a friend of mine

As a side note, the interview made me want to look into Don William’s music!

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Wouldn’t It Be Nice- Beach Boys

Unlike many other I know, I don’t feel strongly one way or the other about the Beach Boys. This is from a snapshot, but I am almost positive that this was SOW material because I love how happy and upbeat the song is!

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Aaron Copelad Conducting Hoe-Down from the ballet Rodeo

I heard this on KVNO and loved it!

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My Sweet Lord

George Harrison

While I was home on winter break, this was one of the songs that came on while Jonathan and I were playing Jotto and Scrabble at the table in Grandma’s room.

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